Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
