cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
