i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
