$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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