I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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