I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
