A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
