I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
