I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
