Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
