He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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