how can u be prego again
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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