you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
