Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
