Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
