i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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