As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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