He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
