Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
