I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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