I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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