Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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