The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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