There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
