Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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