We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
