look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
