I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
