New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
