i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
