About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you inspire me to be a worse person
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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