I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
