You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
