No stitches, just platelets and will power
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
