Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
