Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
