By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
