oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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