So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
