i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
