so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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