So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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