I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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