I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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