He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
