i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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