Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this just has baby written all over it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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