Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
