you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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