I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
